I can feel that Spring is on it's way now, & with this I always reflect on what I have been doing in life over the past few months. Maybe it's because Spring is about the start of new things- animals being born, bulbs turning into flowers. Or maybe it's because I feel like in winter I was just awake & not really living.
Call me crazy, but I feel like over the past month & especially after visiting New York, I have began to question the route that I have chosen in life. Yes it sounds dramatic, but the events of the week leading up to my trip made me question what I want to achieve- especially in work.
I love where I work. The fashion is amazing, the brand I believe in & the people I work with are strong & inspiring.
The people high in the 'sky' take you for granted and mess you around. I shall share with you all now. I am on the management training program for the company I work for, I have been working with them for over a year & have given literally ALL MY TIME/MYSELF to them. So I was put up for promotion-Deputy Manager, told by literally all the other managers in the store that I was bound to get it, told by the people in the 'sky' that I was going to get it & that I just had to interview for it just as procedure. So a week before I went away I visited the 'sky' & had a v.quick interview, only to be told that the answer was 'not right now' as they had to speak to x&y about my abilities as they hadn't seen me working. So I thought fair enough- off to New York I go. I come back & have another meeting with them. This time they tell me that I haven't got the position as they think I would need to work on certain areas (that I would learn in doing the role) and that they had some else in mind already & they were just waiting for that persons answer.
Thank you. Don't be demotivated. Good bye.
I am not the kind of person who gives up/quits/takes things to heart. I was gracious, smiled, said 'Thank you' & that I 'understood' & was my normal/positive self for the whole day at work- but to be honest I was devastated.
What turns the knife even more was the fact that even though I was not 'ready'- I had to run the whole department for two weeks whilst my manager was on holiday.
Makes complete sense yes?
Anyways the point that I'm trying to make is- was it all worth it? Yes it was. However it has made me realise that I want to start my own company. This thought has been in the back of my mind for a while, being only twenty I have many years ahead of me & I don't want to rush into anything too quickly without giving in much thought. But I want to take the chance & see what happens. I'm not saying that I'm going to quit my job tomorrow, but I want to take this idea & see where it goes.
Working shifts has taken up so much of my time. I feel like I barely see my best friends (because I don't. I couldn't see them at all over Christmas as on the days they were free I was working), I have very little energy, I don't do as many YT videos as I would like to, I don't spend as much time with my family as I would like to & most of all I feel like I'm suck in a routine & I don't like routine!
It may just be a pipe dream & you may not hear of this again, but what the whole point of this blog post is to say: prioritise what matters most to you. Family, Friends & my relationship are THE most important things in my life. They are there for you when money and possessions aren't.
If you are unhappy with your life change it. We are the only ones who has the power to do so. It is not like in the movies where everything just happens to fall into place, you have to work hard & it takes time. When I left school/college I didn't know what I wanted to do/be & it is scary not knowing (it still is), but isn't that part of life? The mystery, the excitement?
Live your life the way you want to & don't be afraid.
Phew, so that was a very deep/meaningful post & I hope you were a little enlightened? maybe? no? I just feel like it is a lot easier to write my emotions down & I like sharing with people who may not know me so well :)
*Pinky promise* a happier, fashion related post next time, ok?
What makes you happy?